this black friday, we must remember where the day’s name originates.
the mad, awful elder gods dreamed of a holiday to celebrate their corpulance. they spread a tentacle into the minds of the evil marketing department of the evil coca-cola company to depict a creature so terrible, yet so lovable.
its beard is full of white twisting tentacles. its serpentine belly is shrouded in baleful red. its horrible, rollicking laughter is reserved for those times when it slips into homes in secret, and infests the children.
families, in their terror, leave offerings of milk and cookies, but they are no respite from the growing doom.
the silhouette of santa claus and cthulu is exactly the same, my friend. listen! you know this to be true!
our children are being corrupted! and we embrace the doom of the elder gods with smiles!
we go to the store, and exchange gifts with each other and run up credit cards as if this year – on January 1st – the new year will not come. we live like hedons in the last waning hours of the world before the new ones emerge from the ocean as the stars align.
jingle bells – if you listen very close – played backwards creates those awful, alien sounds that no human tongue can replicate.
“Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn”
black friday comes. the black void comes, too.
edit to add: i have located the true words of false christmas carols: