i have been pondering this perhps a little too much of late.
i am a vegetarian, so eating things like hobbit or manticore or the popelick monster (thank you Jeff VanderMeer…) are all quite out of the question.
but, would i eat an ent?
you remember the noble ent, don’t you? i don’t think i would eat treebeard. he was pretty cool. he stomped some orcs, and called out a war upon the tower because his trees were killed. he is definitely not on my table.
but, what about that other ent? you know the one i’m talking about. he’s not just a little gruff; he’s downright unfriendly! he messes with people, planting in their yards overnight and then moving just to make people suspicious of the trees. he isn’t particularily intelligent. in fact, he can barely speak properly. most of the words he knows and uses are entian curse words. he likes to hurt squirrels. he also likes to stalk people and take pictures of them in compromising positions, which he sells for money. with the money, he buys excessive quantities of miracle gro and spaces out on the juice that burs his head.
i hate to say it, i probably wouldn’t eat this ent, either.
i’m a food wimp.