Dear George Bush,
Thanks for giving me three-hundred bucks in the middle of the start of the horrifically expensive summer air-conditioning season.
Miraculously, it just covers the shortfall between my energy budget and my energy reality.
Also, I can finally subscribe to Electric Velocipede.
PS You know what? I wish you took all this money and spent it on alternative energy sources like seven years ago, or used it to finish up that unending war in Afghanistan, or something like that. You know… Aren’t you conservatives supposed to be the ones who know how to balance a budget?
PPS Depositing this check made me feel dirty. Like getting money from a friend you know well, but not that well, and recieving too much, and knowing your friend really ought to spend the money on a new roof. But, I want the money, and I know you’ll be gone in like eight months and I’ll never see you again. Also, I think the next guy to live in your house is going to fix things.