economic stimulus check

Dear George Bush,

Thanks for giving me three-hundred bucks in the middle of the start of the horrifically expensive summer air-conditioning season.

Miraculously, it just covers the shortfall between my energy budget and my energy reality.

Also, I can finally subscribe to Electric Velocipede.

Your Pal,


PS You know what? I wish you took all this money and spent it on alternative energy sources like seven years ago, or used it to finish up that unending war in Afghanistan, or something like that. You know… Aren’t you conservatives supposed to be the ones who know how to balance a budget?

PPS Depositing this check made me feel dirty. Like getting money from a friend you know well, but not that well, and recieving too much, and knowing your friend really ought to spend the money on a new roof. But, I want the money, and I know you’ll be gone in like eight months and I’ll never see you again. Also, I think the next guy to live in your house is going to fix things.

(Obama 2008!)


Filed under Uncategorized

4 responses to “economic stimulus check

  1. Not that polls mean a whole heck of a lot this early on, but the LA Times (w/ Bloomberg) just put up a poll indicating 49%/37% Obama advantage, which corroborates a Newsweek poll from last week.,0,5763707.story


  2. I remember this poll that asked all these college-educated folks if they would “punch themselves really hard in the face for fifty bucks”.something like 1/5-1/4 said, emphatically, YES!This of course, only made me dream of all the fun things I’d do if I won the lottery…We’ll see what the polls say in November. Who will hit themselves really hard in the face for some tax cuts, a stimulus check, and some short-term solutions?


  3. I dunno….I heard Barack Obama is a terrorist. His middle name is Hussein, so I’m sold.


  4. I concur. Hopefully Obama will fix things. Actually I really think it’s a win-win situation. Because if McCain does get it he’ll likely die before being able to run for second term.Btw sparrowhawk I saw a hick-ass lady from west virginia interviewed who agreed with you. But I’m hoping you’re joking and she definitely wasn’t. I love getting news from the Daily Show.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s