Monthly Archives: August 2008

“The man was from Mulatuppu, which is a place neither Samantha nor Claire has ever heard of. Their father says that the man was supposed to be some sort of magician, but he drowned shortly before Rash came back to Eight Chimneys. Their father says that the other sailors wanted to throw the magician’s chest overboard, but Rash persuaded them to let him keep it until he could be put ashore, with the chest, off the coast of North Carolina.

The specialist’s hat makes a noise like an agouti;
The specialist’s hat makes a noise like a collared peccary;
The specialist’s hat makes a noise like a white-lipped peccary;
The specialist’s hat makes a noise like a tapir;
The specialist’s hat makes a noise like a rabbit;
The specialist’s hat makes a noise like a squirrel;
The specialist’s hat makes a noise like a curassow;
The specialist’s hat moans like a whale in the water;
The specialist’s hat moans like the wind in my wife’s hair;
The specialist’s hat makes a noise like a snake;
I have hung the hat of the specialist upon my wall.


There’s a new Kelly Link anthology coming out in October, with some reprints and some new stuff, geared especially for young adult readers.

I was fortunate to snag one at BEA in LA, and I have to tell you, it’s quite a book, indeed. If you know anyone reading a “Twilight” book. Give them this one instead. Kelly Link has all the themes and more, and she writes circles around just about everybody.

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her name, twice

read her name twice, couldn’t place it
i knew the name, not the picture
but you never know the pictures
families pick the best picture, and it
never speaks the truth, never looks
back at you like the one you knew, ugly
smiling and unsmiling

that name
was it church? a temp job or some ex’s distant
met only once before an earthquake?
that name
a news report? scornful misery dragged across a screen
naked, bleeding, wailing tears so of course i couldn’t recall
the face if i only knew it screaming
except when people went missing, didn’t they
dead, didn’t they use the pictures like this one
in the paper – just like this one

in case of emergencies, call these numbers
use this photograph if anyone wants
a picture to go with the name.
written in her will, she chose a picture,
paper-clipped it to tell people in the paper
who i am, how i want my face to be remembered

that name – wait:
an actress played a woman with that name

then, in a flash like the click of a remote
on a flickering screen of times I know
her great-grandchildren will be like me soon
sitting in their pew, at a death mask
they barely know. they engaged more emotion
on the screen than the that woman in a wheelchair,
sitting at the edge of photographs, who rarely spoke
she was just so happy to be there, eating cake
with all those beautiful children

the little ones looked
the old one looked
each face a strange blank

in thirty years time, the face on the screen
will merge with the woman.

The grandchildren will tell stories to their grandchildren
about love and violence and this person
born between two pictures.

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today i sent a story out…

today i sent a story out that was exactly 9,999 words to a market that requires less than 10,000.

i don’t think i’ve ever written anything with such a wonky wordcount. 9,999 is kind of ominous, isn’t it?

i think it is. i should have edited to something innocuous like 9,724, or 9,866.

maybe i should edit it into a haiku?

i can do that right now, i think.

dance with madness un-
der ash trees, beautiful ones,
i will guard the tombs

hm… not quite right, but close enough to the tone of the piece.

check back in a year or so and we’ll see if anyone bought it. i don’t simsub, so this will take a while if the market i intentionally wrote it for passes on it.

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so we got a female vp pick from the republicans?

i really hope all the upset hillary clinton voters don’t take this bait. this is shameless political pandering.

i’m all for women running for veep, and president. i just hope that the approach to politics that mccain’s team is showing – courting former hillary supporters that want a woman in the white house – are smart enough to realize that palin is *not* hillary. not even a little bit. really, the only thing they have in common is gender. a vote for this woman on the issue of gender is a vote against women’s hard-earned rights.

Here are some interesting quotes from MSNBC…

“[Palin] is three years Obama’s junior, as well, and McCain has made much in recent weeks of Obama’s relative lack of experience in foreign policy and defense matters.”

and this one…

“On Aug. 1, Palin scored a major victory when the Alaska Legislature passed a bill that authorizes her administration to award a license to TransCanada Alaska to build a 1,715-mile natural gas pipeline from Prudhoe Bay on Alaska‚Äôs North Slope to a hub in Canada.

The pipeline would be the largest construction project in the history of North America. If completed as hoped within 10 years, it would ship 4.5 billion cubic feet of natural gas per day. The United States imported about 10 billion cubic feet of natural gas per day in 2007.”

and here’s some more…

“But conservatives praised her anti-abortion credentials.

‘Sarah Palin is a pleasant surprise for those of us who had hoped that Senator McCain would pick a principled and authentic conservative pro-life leader,’ former presidential candidate Mike Huckabee said.

Huckabee also used the Palin pick to reach out to women.

‘Governor Palin … will remind women that if they are not welcome on the Democrat’s ticket, they have a place with Republicans,’ he said.”

Let’s review…

Palin will endanger and damage a fragile ecosystemt already under major assault with a pipeline that is a very temporary fix to the larger issues of the oil crisis. She has no international diplomacy experience outside of Canada. She wants to remove a woman’s right to choose.

What can she bring to the larger issues of our day and age? Global warming? The healthcare crisis? The endless war upon a concept that drains are nation’s single most precious resource: young people?

I hope women are smart enough to realize that falling for this bait will damage the environment, damage the rights of women, and damage the future of our children.

Be smarter than the GOP, Clinton-supporters. Don’t let them manipulate you, dammit! Don’t you understand how little they must think of all of your minds to pull something like this? Prove that you’re smarter than they think you are!

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what i am probably thinking about right now at work…

Pre-dating entries because I’m busy.

And, I’m probably thinking about musical tesla coils, and beautiful music.

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more olympic sports…

Sumo/Risk hybrid, wherein sumo wrestlers sumo on a giant-sized “Risk” board

Electric Whist

Underwater Fencing

Beam Gymnastics on rolling logs.


Macy’s Day Parade Balloon Jousting

Dance Dance Revolution

(The list could go on and on and on… Tomorrow, I’ll be at work again, and the day after that, I might not be pre-dating blog entries…)


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olympic sports continued

today, it was very slow at work. very slow.

Ken, Elaine, Linda, Sandra, and me put together this long, long list of sports that ought to be in the olympics but aren’t. In no particular order, here are the ones I can remember:

1) Weighted Giant Speed Chess (Mind over heavy, heavy matter)
2) Japanese Gameshow Obstical Course
3) Shot-putt Catch
4) Battleship
5) Infiltration (players infiltrate another nation’s team, and throw the event, then REVEAL THEMSELVES FOR THE GOLD! Special extra points for players that cross genders… World Record Holder infiltrated another nation’s infiltration team!)
6) The Hustle
7) Quickdraw Cellphone Answering
8) There’s this place in Europe where guys chase a giant wheel of cheese down a hill, and try to catch the cheese. It’s really dangerous.
9) Trampoline Boxing
10) Life-size Hungry, Hungry Hippo, with people in Hamster Wheels
11) Rock…Paper…SCISSORS!!!!!
12) Boomerang Clay Pigeons. (Pull, somewhere behind you! Quick, throw the boomerang!)
13) Jousting
14) Magic: The Gathering game while both players are running on treadmills that get steadily faster. You either outlast your opponent on the growing speeds, or defeath them with MAGIC!
15) Hitting yourself really hard in the face.

Yup. Slow day. This isn’t even half of what we came up with. This is just what I can remember. Anyone else?


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sports that belong in the olympics…?

1) Competitive Eating
2) Bull-riding
3) Nascar
4) Marathon Tetris

These four sports would make the Olympics awesome.

What other sports belong would make the Olympics more awesome?


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"I kept my reason by reciting the nullification tables backwards!"

Riiiight, Bats. We’ll be the judge.

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funny thing about sf fandom

normally, when a guy bloodies and mauls a girl, it’s time to call the cops.

when it happens at an sf con?

she’s smiling next to her torturer, posting pictures to see her in her gory glory.

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