If the Modern American is supposed to “find themself” after college, I spent my twenties doing exactly that. As I just turned thirty, like most of us kids from late ’79, the decades line up around my life quite nicely. I don’t even think of the New Year as the New Year. My years wrap around my birthday, on the 17th of December, and I think of my years starting and ending there.
Oh, I’ve done incredible things. I spent long stretches of those incredible things alone, finding out exactly who I am, and what I want out of life, and what I’m willing and unwilling to do to achieve those things that I want out of my short time on this nifty, little planet.
I’ve got a bright future, I think. Tomorrow is going to be better than today, which will be better than the day that came before it. I haven’t felt that way at decade’s end in quite some time.
Also, I usually get hammered on my birthday, all depressed and alone and miserable about being old and failing to meet the lofty goals I always set for myself.
This year, someone showed up at my door unexpectedly with champagne, even though I told them it was probably best no to interrupt my ceremony, to try and cheer me up. It was different. It was a good kind of different.
This year, things will be better then they’ve been in a long time. I just know it.
This year, I have some personal goals and some professional goals.
I have these books sitting on this hard drive that none of you have seen because publishing is mother fucking slow when your name is neither King nor Rowling. I want you folks to know that at least one of those books is en route, hopefully two or more.
I have these stories you’ve never seen – great stories – like “Death Mask and Eulogy” and “Eurydice” and “Desdemona on the Plains”. I want to publish all the short stories that are currently unpublished. That’s six major short stories getting kicked all over town, with at least as many smaller flash pieces and poems. I want them all out and in print and in the world.
In fact, having read a few short story anthologies, and having some familiarity with my own short stories, I would also really like to do an anthology of my own stuff. I don’t think this goal is achievable this year, but it’s something I’d like to do.
At work work, my daylight gig, where I work on video games? Well, our goals at work are pretty clear, there, and involve just going all out on this one game – making it the greatest game we can make it come heck or high water.
Also, as much as it pains me to say it when I’ve got four novels collecting electric dust in an electronic folder in this computer, I’ve got two novels in progress that both need finishing. The sooner the better.
Finally, I’d like to read more. One book a week is nice enough, I guess, but I can’t help but feel like I should be reading more.