Wide awake but I should be exhausted, unconscious and immovable. Fell down sick Saturday afternoon with something passed through me quick. Maybe just the heat. Too stuffy with the ac on and all the windows closed. Can’t sleep like that. Open windows run fans and feel the breath of the world passing over you, filling up the chi with real life, natural righteous life. Ain’t used to it, though, so there’s a kick in the ass in the heat, when it’s so hot you wake up nauseaus a little, and maybe some of the fruit you were eating yesterday wasn’t all good. Tossing and turning, wide awake now after sleeping all.afternoon in the hottest part of the day, after being sick all morning, after this awake late in the night, insomniac thinking how long it will be until my words make sense again, because the last thing I wrote drained me of words. I’m drained. Reading Joyce carol oates and sp somtow and Joel lane and wondering late at night – I should be fast asleep and blissful – when the mind will find whatever it needs and the body will find whatever it needs, and I’ll feel human again instead of the late night hum of insomnia.
Can’t sleep, dammit.
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